Why do homestuck trolls hate buckets




















The pre-scratch trolls were unprepared for the difficulties of the game. A lack of leadership and the presence of sabotage , as well as copious amounts of romantic drama, caused them to fail their session. Unbeknownst to them, their session was affected by a glitch caused by L o rd English that had rendered the session unwinnable by preventing them from being born in their session. They chose the latter, and thus activated the scratch , completely resetting the parameters of their universe, becoming the ancestors in the new incarnation of their universe.

Before completing the scratch, Meenah, on the advice of the horrorterrors , killed them all using a bomb with the same appearance as the Tumor , allowing them to continue existing as ghosts within the dream bubbles. After the scratch, the twenty-four trolls arrived in different time periods of their planet's history than before to live out new lives with no memory of their previous roles.

As a result, D o c Scratch came into being. He shaped and manipulated the Alternian troll race into the warlike people they are, in order to mold the twelve kids into a group strong and cohesive enough to finish the game with ease.

However, the twelve trolls who originally played the game would not be the ones to play it in the post-scratch session, but rather their Beforan ancestors would be the players, and they themselves would become their ancestors. After the initial events of the Sgrub session, the overwhelming majority of the trolls were killed by the Vast Glub, a psychic wave from Gl'bgolyb , a horrorterror -like creature that D o c Scratch provided to Alternia and was cared for by the heir apparent to the Alternian crown.

The only survivors of the Vast Glub, besides the 12 troll players barring Sollux's original body , are the Handmaid and the Condesce. The Handmaid later sacrifices herself to the Condesce, so that she can replace her as English 's eternal servant.

The trolls complete their Sgrub session, originally starting as two teams of six players, which soon turned out to be both parts of the same chain of 12 players. The trolls at first began to question the nature of their two-team structure when the Red Team's prototyping began to affect the Blue Team's enemies and vice versa.

Then, because of a Mobius Double Reacharound , the two chains turned out to be joined together all along; therefore, one Prospit and Derse , one Skaia , one pair of kings and queens, etc. However, they have two Frog Temples for an unknown reason however, Vriska mentions that the two teams may have been set up because Skaia was anticipating the trolls killing each other.

Through a combination of luck, strategy, and level grinding, the trolls are able to defeat their Black King and reach the end of the game, creating the kids ' universe in the process. However, before they can leave the Incipisphere and enter Universe B, thus winning the game, they are interrupted by the trans-universal rift that led Jack Noir to their session. They are forced to abscond to The Veil when the version of Jack Noir from the kids' session attacks them.

There, the trolls use their equipment to talk to the kids at any point in the timeline, even years before the story begins. It is interesting to note that while the trolls are quick to draw attention to the kids' supposed mistakes in the game, they themselves needlessly powered up their enemies and thus their final boss, the Black King , by prototyping their Kernelsprites with exceptionally dangerous creatures - the worst of which being Gl'bgolyb.

Half the trolls from the post-scratch Sgrub session die, all at the hands of each other before they manage to take their meteor from The Veil into the Furthest Ring, where they meet up with two of the kids, Rose Lalonde and Dave Strider.

They then begin a three-year journey through the ring to get to the post-scratch kids' session. Aradia and Sollux choose to stay behind in the dream bubbles throughout the ring. During the journey, they meet the ghosts of the pre-scratch Sgrub players and see the destructive effects L o rd English has had on the ring. They also learn that the Condesce, in English 's service, took over post-scratch future Earth, and later entered the post-kids session and took over Derse.

In the pre-retcon timeline, Gamzee Makara, who kept all of the dead trolls' bodies, attempted to revive all of them with sprites in the post-scratch kids' session, merging some of them together. Half the sprites created exploded from a conflict of personality, but Eridan and Equius managed to survive, albeit merged with Sollux's spirit and Lil' Hal respectively.

Kanaya succeeded at reviving the troll population in the kid's new universe. A number of them, however, are shown to be killed by an adult cherub. The universe is also the one where Caliborn is born, before he entered his own game session, and began spreading himself through time as L o rd English. In an attempt to avert his existence, Aranea Serket, one of the pre-scratch trolls, revives herself with the Ring of Life, so as to take over the post-scratch kids' session and avert the creation of this universe.

She fails at her goal and is killed by the Condesce, and ends up creating no more than a doomed timeline. Adult trolls do not reproduce in person, but rather by supplying their genetic material to filial pails carried by Imperial Drones which are then offered to the monstrous Mother Grub deep underground in the brooding caverns.

She then combines all the genetic material into one 'diabolical incestuous slurry' where the more dominant gene combinations, created by the strongest troll romances, rise to the top and lays hundreds of thousands of eggs at once. The eggs hatch into young larval trolls, known as wigglers, which wriggle about to locate a cozy stalactite from which to spin their cocoons.

Curiously a wiggler's eye color is sometimes depicted as the same as their blood color although Sollux's wiggler eyes seem to be blue and red , while in the credits they are shown to have yellow eyes with gray irises like teenage trolls.

If their eyes do have their blood color, it can be assumed that the change to yellow is part of their drastic metamorphosis during pupation. These grey eyes later fill in with the troll's blood pigment as they get older. For reasons such as mutations, disabilities, or other unknown reasons, a number of wigglers are culled and their blood can be used to make paint. After they pupate, the young troll with their newfound limbs undergoes a series of dangerous trials.

If they survive, they are chosen by a member of the diverse and terrifying subterranean monster population native to Alternia, frightening beasts known as a lusus naturae. This creature becomes the troll's custodian, behaving as a lifelong bodyguard, caretaker, and visceral sort of mentor, while the young troll must learn to function as a sort of zookeeper.

Together, they surface and choose a location to build a hive, the Alternian equivalent of a house. The building process is facilitated by carpenter droids left on the planet to cater to the young for building.

During the time periods of both Homestuck and Hiveswap, Trolls are confined to Alternia until they reach full adulthood, upon which they are shipped off-world to partake in a process known as the Ordeals, and then to further serve the empire. Due to their confusing procreation system, it is unclear what the distinction between genders is, however differences in anatomy do exist as suggested by Tavros's response to Dave referencing Terezi believing he was a girl, albeit suspiciously.

Arquiusprite has implied that trolls aren't able to lactate and that their breasts have a number of other significant biological purposes. Differences between the genders are also alluded to in Act 6 Intermission 3 by Porrim and Kankri , who mention and argue about gender equality. However, based on Porrim's seemingly incredulous response to Kankri's response, this may just be his personal opinion.

In a discussion about reproduction, Aranea stated that trolls reproduce bisexually while humans reproduce heterosexually, making it clear that she was referring to biological sex instead of gender and stating almost conclusively that trolls have two distinct biological sexes. In a conversation Kanaya has with Jade, it is shown that trolls do have a concept of hermaphroditism, but it applies to livestock and not trolls themselves. If trolls did not have a term or concept of homo- and heterosexuality due to not having a sexual preference being the norm in their society, then they would not have created one for hermaphrodite if they also fell into this category.

Further evidence for this can be found in how Kanaya finds it strange that humans can lactate yet are not hermaphrodites like the species found within the butler genus, and we know that female trolls do not produce milk because Arquiusprite has stated so. Ultimately, the matter remains inconclusive, and Hussie shows no signs of explaining the reproductive biology of trolls any further, although he has offered up vestigiality as a potential explanation for the different troll genders.

The drones are shown to hold two separate buckets with a differing symbol on each arm, one specifically for kismesissitude, and one for matespritship, it can be determined that genetic materials are different depending on the pairing.

In other words, a matespritships and kismesissitudes could possibly result in the release of different gametes, resulting in this labelling on the drones. Two Non-Binary trolls have been revealed, and Lanque Bombyx has been stated to be transgender.

Given the lack of any mention of the former two's genders by themselves, it can be assumed that these are considered normal in troll society. Features of troll anatomy include the bone bulge , stem , nook , cartilage nub , lobe stem , chitinous windhole , protein chute , squawk blister , auricular sponge clots , think pan , autoerogenous shame globe , ganderbulbs, hear ducts , torso pillar , and rumble spheres among others.

Their functions are largely unclear, although some have quite obvious equivalents in human anatomy. Based on multiple trolls' indecent use of the terms, the 'bulge' seems to serve a reproductive purpose. All trolls have naturally gray tongues, black lips and yellow nails. Mallek 's Friendsim sprites don't show nipples or a belly button, but Lanque 's Friendsim sprites do. Although, Damara through her translated speech alludes that trolls have nipples. In the Candy Epilogues , Gamzee refers to Vriska 's nipples.

Some trolls have colored streaks in their hair that reflect their blood color. Eridan 's hairstreak is also shown to be natural as he is portrayed with the hairstreak as a grub.

When the Handmaid receives an electric shock we can also see that trolls have a very human-looking skeleton. When troll eyes are bloodshot, they appear as an orange color regardless of blood color, as the flesh of the eye is the same color as troll horns.

Trolls, in Hussie's official artwork, do not have visible ears that are similar to human's see Hussnasty Mode. However, it can be assumed that they do have ears of some sort as they are humanoid and can hear.

Sea dwellers have fins on the sides of their heads though whether they are in essence webbed ears or separate organs is unclear. Xefros Tritoh alludes to sea dwellers having webbed fingers in Hiveswap: Act 1 , but this is never seen in any of their appearances. Troll teeth are sharp, often protrude beyond the lips in a fang-like manner, and usually grow back after being knocked out, a trait displayed by both Equius and Gamzee.

The appearance of the set of teeth can vary from troll to troll too, with some having completely even teeth, to others having bigger teeth in the upper or lower jaws. Some trolls also have big canines, like Kanaya and Vriska, with the rest being rather small. Apparently higher castes have sharper teeth. While trolls are humanoid and possess generally human proportions in nearly all depictions, and while Homestuck's often stylized art direction makes direct comparisons of size difficult, the few comparisons we do see seem to show that the Condesce , a fully grown and ancient adult troll, is significantly taller than juvenile or even young adult trolls.

Excluding her horns, she is 1. This could make the Condesce effectively a giant by human standards, and in Collide she appears anywhere up to twice as tall as the Homestuck Kids. It is unknown if this larger-than-human stature is shared among all adult trolls, is determined by blood color or by the Condesce's extreme age, or if it is something unique to the Condesce herself although she only appears slightly taller than the fully-grown Handmaid.

It is speculated by some that trolls' horns serve as erogenous zones they are not made of bone, as shown by the troll skeleton above , but the only canon basis is Karkat's claim that it would be typical Gamzee behavior to fondle his horns, and even this instance has the alternative explanations of mere reference to Gamzee's semi-constant state of glassy surrealism, or the horns being Gamzee's actual honking devices.

However, this could simply be a matter of personal space, as in real life, horns are often made of hard keratin. A popular fan theory appeared to be confirmed in Hiveswap Friendship Simulator: Volume Eleven , as Mallek was shown with two pairs of blue markings on the sides of his torso. These have previously been drawn by fans and referred to as "grubscars", which are left behind due to the loss of limbs during the pupation from wiggler to troll.

Lanque was also shown to have similar markings in Volume Eighteen. However, Barzum and Baizli Soleil do not have these scars on the respective parts of their bodies, so the canonicity of these features is unknown. In both Hiveswap Friendsim and Pesterquest , Trolls are frequently depicted without noses, even though Human characters in Pesterquest are drawn with them.

This, however, is stylistic, as Terezi Pyrope has referenced having a nose on multiple occasions, and Mallek is depicted within Friendsim with a nose ring.

Many biological troll qualities seem to relate to their place on the hemospectrum. A troll's lifespan, for example, increases with their place on the spectrum - burgundy bloods, the lowest caste, seem to live for only a dozen or two sweeps , while higher castes potentially have lifespans stretching for centuries. The Condesce , as a fuschia blood, has a stated lifespan of potentially hundreds of thousands of years. In addition, the higher castes seem to have more physical strength, while lower castes tend to have powerful psychic abilities, although castes higher on the spectrum may also display significant psychic abilities and immunity to mind control.

Yet more hemocaste quirks include the two pairs of horns seemingly possessed by all gold bloods as opposed to the usual single pair , and of course the gills of high-blooded sea-dwellers.

Some afflictions seem to be caste-specific; Folykl Darane possesses voidrot, a condition seemingly unique to Goldblood psionics. Presumably, the aquatic trolls with high-caste blood have a different physiology than other trolls, which allows them to live underwater and accounts for the finned, gill-like structures seen on either side of Feferi 's and Eridan 's jaws.

The troll aristocracy uses human terminology for things that lower-class trolls identify with something more descriptive but less clear to us humans - for example, a burgundy's "ablution trap" is a "bathtub" to a blue-blood; this may be a reference to U and non-U English.

Not much more needs to be said about this. Moving right along. As one of the concupiscent quadrants, it plays a role in procreation as well. There is no particularly good human translation for this concept. The closest would be an especially potent arch-rivalry.

For instance, human players would never be able to adequately diagnose the relationship between the queen and her archagent. But troll players could immediately place it as a dead ringer for kismesissitude. They would think we were all pretty stupid for not getting it. And they would be right. Trolls have a complicated reproductive cycle. The need to seek out concupiscent partners comes with more urgency than typical reproductive instincts. If you have nothing to offer, he will kill you without hesitation.

The pails are all offered to the mother grub, who can only receive such precombined material. She then combines all of it into one incestuous slurry, and begins her brooding. In the slurry, more dominant genes rise to the fore, while the more recessive find less representation in the brood. Especially strong matesprit and kismesis pairings yield more dominant genetic material.

The more powerful the complement or potent the rivalry, the more dominant the genes. This quadrant involves a particular type of three-way relationship of a black romantic nature. Falling on the conciliatory side, it has no bearing on the reproductive cycle, except for indirect ramifications. The auspistice mediates between the two, playing the role of a peace keeper, preventing the feud from boiling over into a fully caliginous rivalry. Since such lesser feuds are quite common among trolls, there is a significant need for auspisticing parties.

Without them, too many ashen feuds would become caliginous, and begin to conflict with other exclusive kismesis relationships, leading to a great deal of social complexity and sore feelings even more so than black romance usually involves. D9 y96 n9t watch or read h9mest6ck?!

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